Are we in a gay sports bar?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
