i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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