it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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