i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
