no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
