What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Randomize
