Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
