I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
