My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
