I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
