But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
