Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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