So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
