the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
