the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
