i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
where are my eyebrows?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
