I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
its not stalking. its research.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
