she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
we're making bets on your personal life
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Couch. On fire.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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