...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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