I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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