Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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