my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
