Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
