I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
