This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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