sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
