my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
