he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
