Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
