i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
