i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
