brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wish I could punch you in the face.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
