I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
