it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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