I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
