he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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