5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
