he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
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