During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My vagina is very pro this idea
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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