I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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