I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
