I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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