i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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