Sacagawea was the original milf.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We are two peas in an std pod
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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