your parents love me but you hate me
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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