Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
