I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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