Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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