She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
