i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
