I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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